Mother's Day Trip to Pegosa Springs, Co.

Well my last post was to say how sad I was because I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to go to Pegosa this year. Not so, I went-Mom wanted to go as badly as I did and she understood that this year I wouldn't be able to pay half as I have the past four years. I was happy to be going and I only had a little money to spend. It's not all that fun with no money, but we just ate in our condo and only went out to eat twice, once to take Vimmie to lunch and to go to dinner for Mother's Day. We brought a lot of food and had most of what we needed. We went to City Market several times to get things we forgot like Mom's ice cream. We went to the Wildlife Park Wed, Friday and Sunday. We sponsor the wolves and have a very special place in our hearts for them. Meekia was her usual self full of licks and love. On Mother's Day she pushed her nose through the fence and was licking me, and I was scratching her neck and head and chin and ears. What a love she is, there were more people there and we had to not pet her when they were around. So she was trying to reach me and so I leaned over as far as I could and she could just reach my forehead. She first just licked my forehead and then she began to preen my hair line and she gently pulled a couple of hairs. It was very gentle and sweet as if she was taking care of me . It made me wonder if she could tell that things were not right in my life. Baha sniffed my fingers and gave me a little lick, not as much as he did last year but it was sweet. He looked really good this year, both of them still had a lot of their winter coat and Baha just looked better than last year. Spirit is the newer addition to the wolf family, he is in the enclosure next to Baha and Meekia. I think I got some really good pictures of all of them. I walked around to see the other animals because I also have a soft spot for Hunter the mountain Lion. When we first came to the Park Hunter was just a cub and he was making a very unlikely sound, unlike any cat noise I've ever heard. I saw him on Friday but he was nowhere to be seen when I walked around on Sunday. We went on three fairly long drives out into the back country. It is so beautiful and I'm thinking about trying to move there. It would be a serious change for me, I'm thinking I would have to get a job for awhile and scout out craft shows and seriously develop a web site for my business. Who knows what is going to happen, the only thing I do know is that I'll loose my home in about 3 months and that will be sooner than I think. This all scares me to death-my stomach is always in an uproar. More on this subject in another post.

SAD

It looks like the Mothers Day trip Mom and I take every year is not going to happen this year, due to my insane financial problems. I just don't have the money to be able to pay for my part. The reason for being so sad is not only am I looking forward to seeing Pagosa but I miss the Wolves Mica and Baha and the new addition Spirit. I Love them so much and it amazes me that from year to year them remember us and get so excited when they hear our voices. My life has been so in the toilet especially this year. I got ripped of at the Quartzsite show and then a couple of really bad weekends at the Bazaar coupled with not working this last weekend because the Encinitas St. Fair was full for the first time in I don't know when. I thought I would be on my way to Az. buy now---this house sold and into a new one. I was looking forward to getting into a place with room to move. I am cramped into this little house and I've had to use the bathtub for storage, which means that I have to move several boxes when I want to shower. So there are a lot of so called sponge bathes, not the same. The other reason I'm so SAD about this trip is that Mom seems to be developing some more unusual symptoms-pains and swellings. I'm worried that she might not be around next year. It seems that several people she knows and just fine and then they turn 84 and they don't last the year. This worries me allot! Its just a crime that stupid money will stop us from having a great time in Colorado this year. I've had so many problems that for one thing I really need a diversion. I don't know I just can't get back on financially secure ground again. Maybe I'm the one that won't be around. I type these words and I feel like I'm complaining to much, but the reality is that everything I do fails or I falls short just my a hair. It sometimes feels like the world doesn't want me in it anymore. In just a few short months I'm going to be homeless with all these cats, my oldest dog Spiffy-who is not doing very well, and Molly, who is my newest rescued dog. It seems all the animals here are rescues, and they just keep coming. It seems that for the first time in all this rescue of animals that when I go shop most of what I get is for them. Cat food-dog food-cat litter-deodorizer for the boxes and cleaner for those messes. Well I've gotten way off the original subject--but then this site is named random thoughts for a good reason. No matter where I begin with the thought I ramble and the thought goes on to the continuing disaster of my life. Who would have thought that this would be how my life would turn out. Wow what a long strange trip it has been. I couldn't resist--sorry. While we're rambling I would just like to say that I miss my little brother Ronnie. Its been 9 years since he passed and I still miss him so much. We had made a pact when we were kids, that whoever went first they would make contact with the other, at least to let the one left that they were OK. Well Ronnie has not made contact with me, not once in all these years. I even see animals that have passed, when they come back to let me know that they are happy to get out of their sick bodies and a free spirit. I was there when Ronnie passed and I did what I said I would, which was to help him out of his sick body. Once his spirit was out of his body it just zoomed off,I watched it go, as I have done with countless animals--Death is the same--for every living entity. In the end you have to do the work to get out but once you're out off you go--at least your spirit--the body is then an empty husk. Wow this has really deepened my Sadness. It's now past 3:00am and I just realized I never ate any dinner. So I need to sign off-get something to eat--feed the animals and get ready for bed and get there. Good night or morning or whatever------------------